How to Find a Wedding Planner Who Matches Your Personality
- jennalschlager
- 19 minutes ago
- 4 min read
Planning a wedding is one of the most exciting chapters in life, but it can also be overwhelming! That’s where a wedding planner steps in; a trusted guide who can take the stress off your shoulders and help bring your dream day to life. But finding the right wedding planner? That’s not just about who’s most experienced or who has the flashiest Instagram page. It’s about connection, communication, and most importantly, compatibility.
When someone’s helping plan one of the most personal days of your life, it only makes sense that their personality meshes well with yours. Here’s how to find a wedding planner who feels less like a hired professional and more like a trusted partner in the process.
Start With Self-Reflection
Before even researching planners, it helps to know what kind of person you are when it comes to decision-making and communication. Are you the type who wants to be involved in every detail? Or do you prefer to hand off the reins and just check in occasionally? Do you value structure and timelines, or are you more go-with-the-flow?
Knowing these things about yourself helps narrow down who will work best with you. For instance, a super hands-on, Type A planner may clash with someone who prefers a more relaxed and flexible planning style. On the flip side, someone who thrives on structure might feel lost working with a planner who’s more spontaneous or abstract.
Look Beyond the Portfolio
A beautifully curated website or Instagram page can show off a planner’s aesthetic, but it doesn’t tell the whole story. While style is important, what really matters is how that planner works behind the scenes.
Does their communication style feel clear and kind? Do they listen actively and ask thoughtful questions? Do they seem to care about the people behind the event, not just the décor and details?
During initial consultations, pay attention to how comfortable you feel around them. Trust that gut feeling. If a planner makes you feel heard, understood, and even excited about the process, that’s a great sign.
Ask Personality-Focused Questions
Beyond asking about logistics, couples should take time during interviews to ask questions that reveal a planner’s personality and working style. Here are a few ideas:
“How would your past couples describe working with you?”
“What’s your approach when things don’t go as planned?”
“How do you handle stress on a wedding day?”
“Can you describe your ideal client?”
These questions aren’t just about getting answers, they’re about seeing how the planner communicates, what they prioritize, and how well that lines up with the couple’s own values.
Pay Attention to Energy
Sometimes the best clues aren’t in the answers, but in the energy of the conversation. Does the planner seem genuinely enthusiastic about the couple’s vision? Do they share ideas that feel aligned with what the couple is hoping for? Is the conversation flowing easily, or does it feel a bit forced?
Finding a personality match isn’t about agreeing on everything, it’s about feeling like the planner gets you. That sense of mutual understanding and respect can go a long way when the pressure of planning ramps up.
Observe Their Process
Some planners have a highly structured process with detailed timelines, spreadsheets, and weekly check-ins. Others take a more creative and flexible approach. Neither is better, it’s about what works for the couple.
During early meetings, it helps to ask about how the planner organizes their workflow. Do they use software, email, or calls to keep in touch? Are they responsive and available, or more hands-off? Understanding this helps ensure that there won’t be surprises down the road when communication really counts.
Consider Compatibility Over Credentials
It’s easy to get caught up in awards, press mentions, or the number of weddings a planner has done. But experience doesn’t always equal compatibility. A newer planner who truly connects with a couple might be a better fit than someone with a longer resume who feels distant or inflexible.
Of course, professionalism matters but so does personality. A couple should feel like their planner is someone they can trust, laugh with, and lean on when decisions feel tough or emotions run high.
Trust Your Instincts
At the end of the day, planning a wedding is an emotional journey. The right wedding planner will not only keep things organized but will also support the couple with empathy and encouragement. That kind of connection can’t be forced or faked; it’s something felt from the very first conversation.
So, while spreadsheets and mood boards are important, what matters most is how the couple feels after meeting a planner. If there’s trust, ease, and a sense of shared vision, they’ve likely found someone who’s more than just a planner, they’ve found a true partner for the journey.
Need help choosing the right planner to help guide your big day? Check our list of questions to ask when interviewing wedding planners!
